Sometimes sitting in church, if the angles are just right, you can watch a person and get a glimpse of their personal world.  With the sloped seating in the room with 2,000+, and no one blocking my direct view, a couple gave me a picture of how people face obstacles in typical church giving.

The couple was not overly impressive, and did not catch my full notice until the offering moment. The flurry began when the offering was obviously coming, and they inadvertently invited me into their lively scene.  They were probably in their early 50s, dressed business casual, and very engaged in the service up to that point.  Their tender worship was interrupted because they obviously wanted to give.

What unfolded next is more typical of how we, as church leaders, make it more difficult than easy to give.

In plain view, the woman fished in her wallet to find, what I assume, were emergency checks.  Folded neatly into the secret compartment, it appeared that check writing to her was a lost art.  Given her iPhone, which she used frequently in the service to check email, I guessed that she likely used online banking and credit cards for most transactions. Giving electronically to the church did not seem to register as an option.

Less than 45 seconds into the giving process, my tension rose because the basket speed on their row surpassed how fast they could write the check.  In went the date, the church name appeared on the “Pay To The Order Of” line, and the signature descended with a flourish with the basket just a few seats away. They had a chance to make the seamless drop in the carrier, but the giving decision stalled — they needed a unified decision on the amount. In that moment, came the big question of “what to give” and followed a level of tension with hushed whispers and lively debate. I would have loved to hear that energetic dialog complete with deep eye expressions and lots of hand gestures.  It’s humorous that the sermon series was on marriage that day.

He gripped the basket until they transacted the amount and inscribed the modest total. The guy a few seats down from the husband had that look of “Come on man, you are holding up the process”.  Their sigh of relief came only after the basket hand-off.  Given the utter efficiency of the usher team and process, I am sure the head usher’s stop watch and scorecard notation bled disappointment – the new speed record would have to wait until next week.

As a student of generosity and coaching churches in the cultivation of givers’ hearts and practices, here were my learnings:

• Giving is not normalized for many people. The desire is present.  The mechanics are not normalized.
• Relax in the offering moment – give enough time.  The worship director is looking for those extra 90 seconds to get it all in, but do we really want to minimize the giving moment?  This moment equals a high form of worship and funds the mission. Do we really want to shortchange those values?
• Equip our people to know all of the on-ramps in how to give.
• Take frequent, short moments to equip people in how to give. They rarely remember the “hidden in the fine print” stewardship ideas in the new member class.
• Let the offering transition matter.  The introduction this day came well framed, but fast.  The right words were there, but one needed fluency in church-ese to absorb the truth.

My heart overflowed with joy for this couple.  My guess is they are on their way to growing in faith and giving as part of their journey.  I wish they could have an easier time to participate with joy in the moment.